about Modified Jones:
“It takes great self-confidence to write a newspaper column. Some might say it takes arrogance. Be that as it may, my willingness to pronounce on a great many matters of which I have little or no knowledge is one of my prime qualifications for this trade.”
– Russell Baker, The New York Times, Aug. 6, 1996
Call me Ishmael.
It was a dark and stormy night.
Gosh, where to begin? If you need to know more about me than my images, blog, scribblings from bygone days, and CV can tell you, in short, I’m a 40-year-old scribe and shutterbug. Newspapers, business magazines, online — I’ve made the professional rounds. Have laptop and camera; will travel. I like to play outside, but I also enjoy nerdy indoor pursuits, like maintaining my own website.
I follow the Golden Rule — do unto others, etc. — and do my best to keep my life simple and uncomplicated. I only have two goals in life: to have as much fun as I can before I die, and to leave the world a slightly better place for my having passed this way. And to eat as much Thai food as possible, with the not infrequent pint of Guinness for dessert.
What’s that? Oh, you are wondering about “Unnecessary Pipe Trench Excavation.” Yes, of course. I recently came across that phrase in the midst of my daily routine that paid the bills (before I was laid off), and it struck me as funny. There is no particular reason why; it just made me LOL. Really. The last time something like that happened was back in my days as an editor for a semiconductor trade pub, with the phrase “ball grid array.” Seriously, is that not funny? Maybe not to an electrical engineer, but to the rest of us, yes.
Of course, there’s probably some sort of Freudian issue here that speaks volumes to my character; I’ll leave that up to you. But sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and a pipe trench is just a pipe trench.
I always used to say that if I were ever in a band, it would be named Ball Grid Array, and my stage name would be Pico Farad (picofarad is another term that means nothing to no one but an electrical engineer and, perhaps, an ex-semiconductor-trade-pub editor). Now, I think it would be named Unnecessary Pipe Trench Excavation, and my stage name would be Modified Jones.
Since the likelihood of me forming a band is akin to the proverbial snowball’s chances in hell, serving as the name of my website will just have to do. Until I hear something else that strums my admittedly somewhat odd sense of humor.
– Yours Truly,
Jeff Chappell (aka Pico Farad aka Modified Jones)
P.S. No, I’m not currently sporting a mowhawk or facial piercings. But I do frequently grimace like that.
P.P.S. Yes, that is a Star Trek shirt, and yes that was me, a long time ago. Was your mom so cool as to let you wear your Captain Kirk shirt for your third-grade class picture — you wish.
P.P.P.S. If you want to find out what I like to read, go to Goodreads. If you want to find out what kind of music I listen to, got to Last.fm.